Update: The Forty Year Old Virgin

New review.

Bad News Bears

Bad News Bears (2005)

A grizzled little league coach tries to lead a ragtag team of outcasts and delinquents to victory in this remake of the 1970s classic. With little hope that his new team will ever be any good, grouchy Coach Buttermaker (Billy Bob Thornton) manages to find each kid's special talent. Amanda, Kelly, Toby, Tanner, Engelberg, Lupus and the rest of the team eventually win a place in Buttermaker's heart. Greg Kinnear and Marcia Gay Harden costar.

My Two Cents: Thornton reprises role as Bad Santa, and while funny, lacks that "somthing" that made the original a classic.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It
IMDB Rank: 6/10

King Kong (Two-Cent)

King Kong (2005)

Set in the 1930s, Peter Jackson's remake follows a group of adventurous explorers and filmmakers to mysterious Skull Island in search of a legendary giant gorilla known as King Kong. The team battles dinosaurs and, with the help of a beautiful woman, manages to capture the mighty ape and ship him back to New York. King Kong goes on display, but his heart is stronger than his shackles. … Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody and Andy Serkis star.

My Two Cents: Kong is a filmaking marvel w/ scenes that with will leave you breathless, and a beast you'll heartily cheer.

NetFlix Rank: Really Liked It
IMDB Rank: 8/10

BONUS BLOGGING

Robert's Two Cents: A couple of amazing sequences make the whole movie.

NetFlix Rank: Really Liked It

King Kong (full)

A remake of King Kong is the type of movie that has the potential to either amaze and delight or flop and disgust. In Peter Jackson's capable hands it most certainly does the former. The man that brought us the Lord of the Rings trilogy successfully tackles another epic tale, and the end result will probably be viewed in the coming years every bit as classic as the original.

Now there's nothing "deep" to this movie. And I don't want to hear anything about "the dark side of human nature," or "man's struggle against the unknown," or any of that. At the end of the day, it's just a movie about a big ape.

But what an ape it is!

If CGI characters could get an Academy Award, Kong would have my vote. He does/conveys it all: bravado, anger, melancholy, compassion, and even love. He steals the show, and you have to credit Jackson for that. From nothingness he created a creature that outshines several good actors (not Jack Black, who is horrible in almost everything he does).

Jackson has a knack for granduer. From the first glimpse of Skull Island to the last shot atop the Empire State Building, to the film's pinnacle sequence that rumbles through the jungles of a lost world, everything about Kong is on an epic scale. (Brief aside: The sequence I mention takes place slightly more than halfway through the film, and I am convinced that Jackson inserted it simply to give Steven Spielberg the finger, as if he's saying: "I'm not even making a movie about dinosaurs, but I can still outdo anything you hoped to accomplish in Jurrasic Park."

Like LOTR, King Kong is a beautiful movie, and a marvel of what's possible in film when CGI complements storytelling and emotion, instead of supplementing them. Andy Serkis, the man that brought Gollum to life in Middle Earth, gives life to Kong, and the beast's interactions with Naomi Watts are nothing short of extraordinary.

Sure there are drawbacks: lack of development in some areas, too much development in others, and of course, Jack Black. But its highs exceed the lows, and for that King Kong is a chest-thumping success.

The Island

The Island (2005)

Human clones meant for harvesting fight back in this sci-fi thriller set in the mid-21st century. Lincoln (Ewan McGregor) uncovers the awful truth about his utopian society -- that he and all other residents are actually clones to be used as spare parts for their corresponding humans. Determined to survive, Lincoln and a gorgeous resident (Scarlett Johansson) flee the city on a life-and-death mission. Djimon Hounsou and Steve Buscemi also star.

My Two Cents: Buffet of smart sci-fi themes (e.g.,AI-Blade Runner-Brave New World), but too often leans on cliches to drive the story.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It
IMDB Rank: 7/10

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (Two-cent)

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe (2005)

Based on C.S. Lewis's classic novel, this enchanting tale follows four London children who are sent away to a country home for safety during World War II. There, they discover a magical wardrobe that leads them to the mystical land of Narnia, ruled by an evil witch. The children join the lion Aslan to free Narnia from darkness. Tilda Swinton, Georgie Henley, William Moseley, Skandar Keynes, Anna Popplewell, Rupert Everett and Jim Broadbent star.

My Two Cents: A timeless tale brought to life; will probably draw unfair comparisons to LOTR, but is its own film.

NetFlix Rank: Loved It
IMDB Rank: 8/10

BONUS BLOGGING

Robert's Two Cents: "Star Wars" for a new generation isn't my kind of film, although I prefer it over LOTR due to real characters.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (full)

[note: for theatrical releases I/we may sometimes stray from the normal format and offer full reviews.]

Some kids grew up with the Lord of the Rings series; instead I read C.S. Lewis' tales about Narnia. When I heard that his 'Chronicles' would come to life on the big screen I approached the first installment -- The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe -- with guarded optimism, hoping for something like Peter Jackson's LOTR, but fearing John Hancock's The Alamo.

The finished product lies in-between, but much closer to the epic spectacle that won so many Academy Awards. TLWW introduces the seven-part series with the granduer and gusto that it deserves, though I wonder whether the opening film really has enough "magic" to carry its lesser-known six siblings. Even if it does not, TLWW successfully brings to life a story and a world that has enraptured readers for more than a half century.

Director Andrew Adamsson blends actors with CGI, and though it isn't a completely seamless incorporation (one scene in particular, or the four children standing on a ridge with mountains behind them, looks blatantly computer-generated), it doesn't sacrifice story for effects, ala George Lucas. And Narnia's talking beats -- most notably the lion Aslan -- spring life-like to the screen.

Most importantly Adamsson stays true to Lewis' work. The ont thing that the Narnia series has in its favor when it comes to film adaptations, is that each story is short enough that translating it to a screenplay doesn't require chopping off substantial portions of the story. TLWW doesn't gloss over the details.

If there's one word I would use to describe Jackson's trilogy, it would no doubt be: majestic. TLWW's scope doesn't extend quite that far, but it would be unfair to knock it simply for falling short of a plateau unparalleled in filmaking. Adamsson's project stands on its own merit, and for those of us that enjoy the Narnia story more than that of Middle Earth, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is more than deserving of whatever accolades and awards it may have coming.

The Dukes of Hazzard

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

Look out, Boss Hogg, the Duke boys are back in this comedy based on the TV series. Join Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) as they tear around Hazzard County in their Dodge Charger, The General Lee. Aided by short-shorts-clad Cousin Daisy (Jessica Simpson) and moonshining Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), the boys must stop commissioner Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) and Sheriff Roscoe (M.C. Gainey) from stealing the family farm.

My Two Cents: The DoH was stupid, but not a 'Stifler' and 'Jackass' kind of stupid; vulgar humor and boobies seem out of place here.

NetFlix Rank: Didn't Like
IMDB Rank: 4/10

Syriana

Syriana (2004)

George Clooney (who gained 30 lbs. for the role) plays CIA operative Robert Baer in this first-person account of the agency's false confidence regarding what they considered to be the bright future of Middle East after the end of the Cold War. Based on the best-selling book See No Evil: The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism, the movie also stars Matt Damon, Amanda Peet and Greta Scacchi. Stephen Gaghan directs.

My Two Cents: In the style of "Traffic", but completely incoherent. To be fair, the only part I didn't understand was the whole thing

NetFlix Rank: Hated It
IMDB Rank: 3/10

Fantastic Four

Fantastic Four (2005)

During a space voyage, four scientists are altered by cosmic rays: Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) gains the ability to stretch his body; Sue Storm (Jessica Alba) can become invisible and create force fields; Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) controls fire; and Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) is turned into a super-strong … thing! Together, these "Fantastic Four" must thwart the evil plans of Dr. Doom (Julian MacMahon). Tim Story directs.

My Two Cents: Batman Begins > Spiderman 2 > X2 > Fantastic Four > DareDevil > The Incredible Hulk; Ho-Hum flick about Ho-Hum comic

NetFlix Rank: Didn't Like It
IMDB Rank: 5/10

Alternate My Two Cents: Five years ago Jessica Alba in spandex would have been enough to save such a boring movie; maybe I'm getting old now.

Bonus Alternate My Two Cents: Suffers from backstory overload, like fellow minor comics X-Men/Spiderman; Those sequels rebounded. Will FF2?

The 40 Year Old Virgin

The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)

Andy Stitzer (the hilarious Steve Carrell) has a pleasant life with a nice apartment and a job stamping invoices at an electronics store. But at age 40, there's one thing Andy hasn't done, and it's really bothering his close group of friends: To the shock of everyone he knows, he's still a virgin. The guys at the store make it their mission to change that, but Andy seems hopeless -- until he meets single mom Trish (Catherine Keener).

My Two Cents: An 84 Tomatometer and Box-Office Stamina are both Liars. This one is as bad as its Title

NetFlix Rank: Didn't Like It
IMDB Rank: 3/10

BONUS BLOGGING

Drew's Two Cents: Pleasurable, but at 133 minutes it took way too long to, um, climax (pun very much intended).

NetFlix Rank: Liked It

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990)

Director Tom Stoppard turns William Shakespeare's "Hamlet" topsy-turvy in this witty, existential puzzle box, presenting the play from the view of trivial characters Rosencrantz (Gary Oldman) and Guildenstern (Tim Roth). Beckoned to find the cause of the Danish prince's malaise, the duo strolls into the midst of the royal intrigue. But with no memory of Hamlet (or anything else), they're mystified by their mission -- and oblivious to their fate.

My Two Cents: Seinfeld meets Laurel and Hardy meets Shakespeare; Roth and Oldman give brilliant performances.

NetFlix Rank: Really Liked It
IMDB Rank: 7/10

Cinderella Man

Cinderella Man (2005)

Russell Crowe stars as pugilist Jim Braddock in this riveting biopic created by the Academy Award-winning team of producer Brian Grazer, director Ron Howard and screenwriter Akiva Goldsman. Braddock, who garnered boxing glory when he defeated champion Max Baer in a winner-takes-all bout, arrived on the scene during the Great Depression (a time when Americans were woefully in need of a hero) and rose to the occasion with a vengeance.

My Two Cents: Rocky-esque boxing scenes are just the undercard; triumphant struggle for the American Dream is the real story here.

NetFlix Rank: Really Liked It
IMDB Rank: 9/10

BONUS BLOGGING

Robert's Two Cents: Well-Crafted yet manipulative hollywood entertainment, ala "Seabiscuit".

NetFlix Rank: Really Liked It

Comments

Comments are there for a reason. If you think we're full of crap feel free to say so. If you think we're pithy geniuses then we'd like to hear that, too.

If you spent hard-earned money on a movie based on one of our reviews, and now you want us to compensate you, then go ahead and keep that to yourself.

The Longest Yard

The Longest Yard (2005)

It's the inmates vs. the guards in this remake of the hit 1974 comedy. While doing time in the Big House, pro quarterback Paul Crewe (Adam Sandler) persuades fellow convict and former gridiron coach Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds) to prepare a group of jailbirds for a match against the screws. But Paul, Nate and the rest of the team are in for a little surprise when game time rolls around. Chris Rock, James Cromwell and Michael Irvin costar.

My Two Cents: Terrible, but a slew of great cameos (especially Michael Irvin, playmaking once again) will appeal to football fans.

NetFlix Rank: Liked it
IMDB Rank: 5/10

BONUS BLOGGING

Porter's Two Cents: Maybe the best Sandler movie since Happy Gilmore...of course that's not saying much. Shockingly decently enjoyable.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It

(Something I found amusing: During the opening credits I noticed that this film was a joint production between MTV and "Happy Madison" productions. Even Sandler apprently realizes that his shtick flamed out ten years ago. Of course he can laugh at himself all the way to the bank. -- Drew)

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Marriage has gotten stale for John and Jane Smith (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), a husband and wife who don't yet know that they share the same undercover line of work: They're both guns for hire. Hiding their occupations has never been a hardship for either of them … until they discover that their next assignment involves them targeting each other! Can they go through with their respective missions, or will love prevail?

My Two Cents: Pitt and Jolie make this fun and surprisingly entertaining, despite half-hearted storytelling.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It
IMDB Rank: 7/10

BONUS BLOGGING

Matt's Two Cents: Oscar worthy? No. But a good summer movie with a hot Angelina Jolie.

NetFlix Rank: Really Liked It

Robert's Two Cents: Sexually Charged Emotional Action Pic ? The sequel is even included. Weird movie. By no means good, but not terrible.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It

Surviving Christmas

Surviving Christmas (2004)

When life's not going exactly the way he wants, Drew (Ben Affleck) decides it's time to go back to his childhood home for Christmas and recapture the magic and idyll of his past. The only problem? His relatives don't live in that house anymore, so reliving his glory days will be much more complicated than he expected. First, he must convince the family (headed by James Gandolfini and Catherine O'Hara) who call the place home to humor him.

My Two Cents: Asinine premise? Check. Affleck acting smarmy? Check? Can Gandolfini pull off comedy? Uh, check. Color me surprised.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It
IMDB Rank: 6/10

The Interpreter

The Interpreter (2005)

Silvia Broome's (Nicole Kidman) job is to translate for her assigned delegate the complex issues faced by the United Nations. But the interpreter's daily challenge turns epic when she accidentally overhears details of a plot to assassinate a high-ranking government official. Suddenly, her existence is overshadowed by danger, and she must unravel an intricate yarn of intrigue with the help of an FBI agent (Sean Penn) in order to save herself.

My Two Cents: Interesting and well-paced thriller; draws you in with its misdirection, but runs out of steam the last half hour.

NetFlix Rank: Liked It
IMDB Rank: 7/10

Introducing the Supporting Cast

I've invited several friends to contribute to the site, which should provide an eclectic mix of reviews and opinions.

Here are their NetFlix stats, along with a few sample "Two Cent Reviews."

Matt

Ratings: 1036 movies
Favorites: 286 movies
Average Rating: 3.27

Batman Begins: "Bale is fantastic in a less cartoon like version than the 90s Batman saga ."

Crash: "Brutal depiction of real life events with great performances."

The Assassination of Richard Nixon: "Good performances all around, although you are supposed to feel sorry for Penn's character, I hated him."

Robert

Ratings: 3879 movies
Favorites: 221 movies
Average Rating: 2.72

The Big Sleep: "Races & sizzles w/an assault of coolness so relentless you can't possibly bother to care where it takes you next or why."

Forrest Gump: "The greatest film from the greatest American director. Ebert says it's "Magical". I concur. #7 on my All-Time List."

Pulp Fiction: "It's still trendy to say you like this heavy handed cooler-than-thou B-movie trash, but I don't play that."

Porter

Ratings: 4338 movies
Favorites: 380 movies
Average Rating: 2.69

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: "watch it again. It's actually pretty funny. This is one of those movies that is funnier with repeated viewings."

Hitch: "It was pretty decent until it got all Hollywoody at the end."